Russia: What to Know Before You Go by Graeme Harwood
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Russia may be the largest country in the world but for 80% of her incoming tourism she’s just a tale of two cities: St.Petersburg and Moscow. And then only in one season: May-October. April/May & September/October are good times to visit even if prices are higher and bookings need to be made considerably ahead of time; or any time during the winter when everything’s calmer and cheaper, a different Russia of snow, vodka, furs & fires is on show and sightseeing isn’t really affected because it’s mainly indoors anyway. Forget about July & August: that’s when holidaying Russians augment the pinnacle of the European stampede.
Although St.Petersburg gets a better press, I would devote equal time to both cities. You may even, as I did, end up preferring Moscow. One neat way of doing things is to fly BA into St.Petersburg/out of Moscow, with 4 nights in each , linked by a 51/2 hr. train journey between the two(£28/40E/50$ for a 1st class train ticket includes a packed meal in a fast, warm & comfortable compartment - although to save hassle, let the hotel get the ticket for you). I recommend getting started with introductory sightseeing tours to give you a general overview. Go for Eclectica Guide (Tel: 312-51-29, 25$ for 11/2 hrs.) in St. Petersburg & Capital Tours(Tel:232-2442/20$ for 3 hrs.) in Moscow to have the best guides and service. You can then add on the interior visits as your tastes dictate.Beyond the usual suspects, I’d rate the Yusupov Palace in S/P & the Sandunovskiye Russian-style Baths in Moscow as experiences not to be missed.The In Your Pocket Guide to St.Petersburg will give you by far and way the best info on S/P, but as yet there isn’t one for Moscow so you’ll have to make do with second best, Where magazine, which is too tied to its advertisers to be impartially helpful.
VISAS There are two ways to get a visa: (a) do it yourself or (b) pay an agency to do it for you. Path(a) involves listening to the Russian Embassy’s recorded info(Tel: 0906/550 8960)at £1 a minute & following orders. The visa costs £30 and you must get one of your pre-booked hotels to fax ‘an invitation’ to you. Path(b) will do everything for you within 10 days(the absolute minimum and generally standard time in which a visa is issued) and for that The Russian National Tourist Office(Tel:0207-495 7555) will charge you £85. But, as everywhere in contemporary Russia, money talks: they can get you a visa in a day for only £225!
Russians either don’t care or don’t realise just how irritating and offensive this initial hurdle is to European travellers wanting to go there. The charges, the delays, the questions(even down to your annual income, employer’s address & holiday spending allowance) & the endless nit-picking regulations are a complete turn-off to the country.(Although corrupt policemen can get distinctly turned on by looking at visas, which is why you should always carry with you only a photocopy of your passport/visa as registered by your current hotel to discourage any ‘fault-finding’ scams). If they ever dropped all this Stalinist buffoonery, Russia’s image and tourist numbers would go skywards. But then a whole ‘visa industry’ would collapse, so don’t hold your breath. That said, I must also say that Customs & Immigration on arrival in Russia were both surprisingly painless.
UNITS Most Russian hotels & restaurants quote their prices in ‘units’ rather than Roubles. A ‘unit’ varies from one establishment to the next but is normally pegged to the $ or the Euro, or somewhere around there. In other words, you can see the prices in the more familiar forms of a $ or a Euro, or somewhere around there. Never forget a ‘unit’ can be whatever le patron wants it to be, just so long as he marks his exchange rate on the tariff. The bill will then all arrive in roubles(and in Cryllic alphabet), thus unkindly gifting you with a mathematical project to verify it – if you could be bothered. Still, an unnecessary extra layer of administration has been created! About as often as an oasis in a desert, you’ll find someone behaving like the rest of the world and quoting only the national currency, which at c.30R./1$ &c.50R./£1 is neither an unusual nor a difficult calculation to make. You just have to be prepared in Russia to move from Dollars to Roubles to Euros & back again, going with the flow. Your inevitable annoyance with all this shenanignans should now at least be diminished by knowing what’s ahead of you.
TAXIS These guys are the worst pirates I’ve ever come across – and , apart from your initial airport arrival, there’s no need ever to get in one.Taxis never have meters; taxi drivers will ALWAYS attempt, and generally succeed in, getting you to pay way above what a Russian would pay. Outside posh locations, taxis were invariably either £10, 15$ or 10$ depending on the distance – and the high quality of the car of course. After racking up £40 in taxis over day one in St.Petersburg, I got given a lesson on day two by an expat,saving myself a small fortune thereafter in Russia. Flag down ordinary cars in the street, using common sense. If you don’t like the look of the occupants, wave it on. Normally it’s a guy alone in a dusty, box Lada and, lo & behold, 500R. Becomes 150R. With a happy, chatty driver to boot. Some of my best cameo encounters with Russians were had like this.One guy even gave me back 50R on arrival!! Just state your destination or show it in Russian script and wave the cash as your price. Average wait:30 seconds. Refusal rate:zero.
As for incoming airport transfers(both hefty kms. From their city centres), it’s either the mafia-controlled taxis or the public bus.I thought I was being clever in walking towards the public bus and countering the taxi controller’s 50 Euros with an adamant 35$, which prevailed as soon as I arrived at the bus-stop, only metres from the Arrivals exit. Later, I found out that journey could have cost as little as $18/500R.Most arriving passengers are going to be ripped off – a lousy first impression which the Russian authorities seem reluctant to do anything about, for some reason. Leaving from Moscow, a local took me out to the airport for 500R. And he was delighted. Again, this aspect of Russia is something you just have to get used to. But once you do, it’s the road to fun encounters every day.N.B. Moscow has 5 airports scattered all around it. Make sure you double-check which one you’re leaving from. It’s not unknown for BA passengers to turn up at Sheremetevo Airport when they should in fact have been at Domodedovo Airport - 100 kms., one ruinous taxi ride & a probable missed flight away. Caveat aviator!
FOREIGNER PRICES Whether or not you buy the argument that foreigners are only charged the real prices for entrances to sights and that Russians pay far less at a separate cubicle because they have to be sudsidised, the practice still feels exploitative and discriminatory. Grin and bear it – because, unlike the taxi situation, you can’t easily outflank this one.
THE WATER & ELECTRICITY One look at the bathwater should cure you of any desire to drink the tapwater, unless pale green has a fatal attraction for you. Basically, don’t. Hotels generally provide still mineral water in the rooms as a courtesy. Think India, Egypt etc. Power points, you may be pleased to know, are standard 220V. European round pin.
THE PEOPLE English is not widely spoken; nor is the Cryllic alphabet with 33 mainly unfamiliar letters transposed simply into an English version. You will feel a communication barrier. But the more Russian phrases you attempt, the jollier the locals become – the Russians are no different from anybody else in that respect. You will also receive a quota of sullen service, perhaps only to be expected in a people who have had no experience of good service. Eye contact is a fifty-fifty chance; smiling eye contact & you’ve hit the jackpot. ‘Walk on by and never look back’ is popular with waiters. Glum seriousness in the end is too prevalent in the Russian character not to become rather wearing after a while. So, you’ll just have to do the smiling for them! At Russian women, that won’t be difficult. On top of their confident deportment, which is physically lean and facially striking in the first place, there’s a fully made-up, designer appearance. I don’t know if Russian women are born in stilettos or have them thrust upon them, but they all seem to wear stiletto boots, usually above spray-on jeans. ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’ must be a Russian proverb – if their innate love of flashiness from Orthodox Churches through Tsarist Palaces to the gaudy excesses of ‘ The New Russians’ are anything to go by. Prostitution is open here, especially in the hotels. It’s not unheard of to be cold-called in your room even! Amusingly, the local English language papers carry loads of adverts for ‘Marriage & Introduction Agencies’, some of which are ‘Open 24 Hours’ – in case at 2am, say,you feel like, er, ‘getting married’! As one local guide said to me: “ In Russia we are rich in oil, gas, diamonds & poor people”, so keep a low profile to avoid muggers, pickpockets & scammers who may see you as a way out of that poverty(average wage, 45$ a month). Shun ostentatious jewellery, wear the Swatch not the Rolex. Despite lurid tales of the Russian mafia, they have far bigger fish to fry than tourists, so miscreants are no more than the petty chancers you’d meet in any Western city. Basically, the streets feel safe. However,watch out for a new street scam where a guy in front of you drops a big bundle of $’s, all neatly rubber-banded & cased in polythene, and then shoots off sideways apparently unaware of his loss. A guy next to you quickly scoops it off the pavement, bids your silence at his good fortune & generously offers to split ‘the find’ with you 50/50. Have absolutely nothing to do with this idea – because the guy who ‘lost’ the money is going to come roaring back, demanding that you empty your pockets, threatening the police etc. etc. Just laugh at the very idea, point to the other guy(his accomplice anyway) and stride on regardless. They fade away and give up. Not exactly a brilliant scam but it happened to me twice in two days around Red Square!
But remember the Russians are fundamentally a warm-blooded people. Along with the surliness & rudeness, I also experienced enough laughter and acts of generosity to keep me going.Try, then , to approach Russians with a positive outlook rather than just ticking off all your ingrained suspicions as you go along. Get over them! Russia & Russians can be fascinating entertainment. It is , after all, the biggest country on earth with a colossal roll-call of intellectual and artistic geniuses. Enjoy their good sides.