The Royalist by Graeme Harwood

How would you like to stay at the oldest inn in England, authenticated by "The Guinness Book of Records" back to 947 A.D? Not to mention forever after being able to tell your friends. At just 1 ½ hours from London and easily reached off the M4, M5, and M40, there can be few more unique than the Royalist Hotel.

I enjoyed being located quietly away from the Market Place but, as a city person, glad it was only by minutes. All you would want to see or shop for in this ancient little market town is on your doorstep. Try seeing Stow for the first time, as I did, long after dinner in the cold of midnight: all the typically weathered honey stone architecture of the Cotswolds is here silently ranged against itself in competitive, cosy antiquity. The next morning was a different matter. Half of Gloucestershire’s crockery, soft furnishings, antiques and local chesses ended up in the car boot. All bargains apparently but prompting Stow’s best photo opportunity on the edge of the Market Place: a picture of one’s partner in the stocks.

The Royalist Hotel, as you would expect from one of the most protected buildings in England, is infested with thousand year-old wonky timbers, open fires, flagstone floors, low ceilings and rabbit-warren corridors all amidst conspiratorially low lighting. Beyond complimentary postcards of the hotel The Royalist boasts a book just on itself. So I’m baling out of the history right here. What I can say, though, is that the old inn was only recently reopened to the world in September 2000 after a six month £1.6 million Heritage Approved restoration and refurbishment revealed an eight bedroom hotel, resident’s lounge, 947 A.D. restaurant, 12 seater private dining room and connecting pub, The Eagle and Child.

Expensive London designers have successfully managed to offset both the quirks of each room and lighten the sombreness of the beams in a soufflé touch of lampshades scattered amongst plain, airy pastels. This works at its best in each of the separately designed and individually named bedrooms. The resident’s lounge is intimate and charming; the restaurant, warm Gothic. Where this doesn’t work so well for me, at least, is the pub. It’s too modern; inside, heavily beamed but bereft of real fires, the pub is really more of a brassiere and bar with a totally modern conservatory added on. So why did "The Independent", if you accept what I say, vote the Eagle and Child the U.K.’s 8th Best Pub? The answer lies in the food, more particularly, Alan Thompson’s food. His pub grub alone is better than any of the hotel restaurants in Stow put together. Search elsewhere in vain for the likes of ‘Grilled Sardines with Aioli’ ‘Chicken Liver’ & Black Truffle Terrine wit Prune Compote’ as only two of a possible seven gourmet starters.

I’ve known Alan Thompson’s cooking for years, so rather than trot out all his accolades once again, I’ll tell you what it’s like: All But Michelin One Star at an honest price without the bullshit Reduce, daintify and rack up the prices of the portions; install an enormous central flower display; employ lots of French; especially a sommelier to keep you wine bucket out of reach and Alan Thompson would both have his One Star and go bankrupt at the same time. His is too astute to fall for this and we, in the meantime, should simply be glad of his consistently high quality over every three course dinner, five choices for each course and, de rigueur these days, two classy amuse-bouches. The Slow-Roasted Cotswold lamb was to travel for; the Roast Venison (less gamey, you roe deer, specialy chosen, hung for only five weeks) about as good as it gets. I suppose you’ve gathered by now I’m going to recommend eating in the restaurant.

Whilst the kitchen’s 3 AA Rosettes play about the hotel’s overall 3 star status so do certain bedrooms. Go for the woody, spacious, split-level ‘Maugersbury Suite’ or the elegant four-postered ‘Edwardstow’. There’s a big difference for a comparatively small price increase but you’ll need to book it at least a month ahead, even further ahead during The Cheltenham Races (March 12-15). All rooms, which you can check into as early as 2pm, are en suite with T.V., telephone, tea, coffee, hair-drying and ironing facilities as standard. View them all on the hotel’s excellent website. What you pay depends on the day of the week and whether you include dinner or not. The full works on a Saturday night in ‘The Maugersbury’ (Dinner, Bed & Breakfast) would be £214 for tow. You pay your money etc., but by this logic, best value for money would be one of the top rooms, with dinner, on a weekday.

The Royalist front of house is run by Alan’s wife, Georgina, who with a jovial Aussie, Larissa, ensure chatty, smiling yet professional attention. Smoking is banned in the dining room and all the bedrooms which will irritate some and enrapture others. You might also like to know that Alan will happily, and most unusually for a chef, give you a copy of any of his recipes you liked. The Royalist Hotel is the highest rated hotel in town. Go, see and enjoy yourself why it deserves to be.