Mena House Oberoi by John Borthwick

"Fancy putting the Pyramids in front of your nice hotel!" a millionaire is reputed once to have complained to the manager of the Mena House Oberoi, Giza. The story is apocryphal, the Mena House is not. Nor is its in-your-face view of the Great Pyramid of Cheops, which squats megalithically, just across the hotel's golf course.

In 1928 the Duke of Windsor clambered to the peak of the Great Pyramid and whacked his golf ball onto the Mena House golf course. I rose early one morning and attempted something similar, well, minus the golf club. At the base of the pyramid, a man (definitely not a hotel employee) in a robe told me climbing was no longer permitted, but “… if you give me 45 pounds I can take you up.” Determined to climb any pyramid, I headed for the most distant one, Mycerinus, which was hidden from my obstructer’s view. Twenty minutes later I stood on its summit, far above the desert. Except for perhaps the Mena House below, the view was 4000 years old and the only sound I could hear was my own heart thumping. Who needs a golf club?

Here is a five-star hotel old enough to have a real history, plus the squeaky floorboards to verify it. The original Mena House was built for the visit of Empress Eugenie of France, in 1869, for the opening of the Suez Canal. Since then the parade of personages to have graced (or been disgraced) here includes Churchill, two World Wars of Allied troops, Cecil B. De Mille, the ubiquitous Hank Kissinger - and former OPEC boss Sheikh Yamani, who got stuck in the lift.

Moorish archways, arabesque ceilings and perforated musharabiya screens slip the lattice of their shadows across your way. After midnight in the hotel nightclub, a formidable belly dancer ripples from flank to finger to hidden dimples. A wailing, thundering Egyptian orchestra of strings, reeds and drums drives the night further. The Sphinx, aloof from such matters, sits stabled outside, just past the pool. As yet another ancient evening slips away from this perfumed palace, you can wander at dawn onto your balcony and check that Pharaoh Cheops' old pyramid too is still there, right where he left it.