The Lords of the Manor by Graeme Harwood

The Lords of The Manor offers utter peace and quiet. The nearest village, Upper Slaughter, with its Norman church, small brook and old Cotswold cottages hasn’t changed in over 300 years. The lush green hotel ground ramble over 8 acres of lake, parkland and walled gardens -- private, stress-free and serene. Of course, activities like shooting, riding, fishing, golf etc. can be arranged locally. Otherwise, you’ll be lucky to hear a car and unlikely to see anything more strenuous than a little light croquet occasionally on the lawn in summer. There’s not even a pool or spa/fitness centre to make you feel like you should be doing something about your body. This is a hotel which is so delightfully understated it doesn’t seem like a hotel at all.

In fact it has only been a hotel for just 30 years. Originally it was a C17th Rectory whose incumbents would also call themselves Lords of The Manor, hence the affectionate diminutive -- ‘The Lords’ -- by which the hotel is generally known. Inside, the discreet reception; the succession of writing rooms, drawing rooms and library areas; the soft lights and family portraits; the real fires and comfy old leather sofas; all suggest that you are not so much in a hotel open to the public as the personal private guest of some aristocrat at his weekend gathering. The staff are complicit in this atmosphere by seeming not to speak unless they’re spoken to and then when asked to do something carrying it out with lethal, Jeeves-like precision. Sometimes hotel staff with their logos and insistent bonhomie can be too ‘in your face’. It’s the sheer unobtrusive professionalism of the people at The Lords which makes them my kind of staff. There’s even, would you believe, a complimentary overnight shoe cleaning service, just leave them outside. When I left my camera case behind it was posted back to me before I’d even realised it was missing.

As befits a country house hotel splendidly isolated in the middle of nowhere The Lords has an irresistible restaurant well worth staying in for. Toby Hill’s Michelin Once Star cooking puts him in the Big Boy’s League and what’s more it’s beautifully served onto well-spaced tables which nestle under the low-ceilinged white and beige dining room in an overall tone of grand intimacy. The delicate flavouring and springy texture of the lamb was memorable -- being very much the animal of choice in the sheep-rearing Cotswolds -- whilst the floating finesse of a hot pistachio soufflé almost led to a trading war with my suddenly-reluctant-to-share dining partner. By the time you read this there will be a new multi-course Tasting Menu to showcase Toby Hill’s talents and that would get my fist attention. I have, however, two criticisms of the restaurant. The international wine list (inexpensive options too) is badly let down by appalling wine glasses. They’re too small, too thick, quite incapable of releasing the bouquet and taste of any sophisticated wine and should be pensioned off into the world of waters, still or sparkling. Since I made the point Eric, an enthusiastic and knowledgeable a sommelier as you’d hope for, larger glasses are on order -- but will only be available if requested. I don’t see the sense in an operation going for Two Michelin Stars not just automatically giving everyone the proper glasses to begin with.

I found the Evening Menu policy equally baffling. Book dinner, Bed & Breakfast and you’re entitled to the Market Menu which offers a meagre either/or choice over 3 courses. But you may be lucky and find your favourites. Or else dine a la carte where you get an allowance of £40 per person. There is simply no contest here. The average price of going a la carte is only £45 p.p and you get at least six choices on each course. So why bother with a Market Menu at all?

Accommodation at The Lords similarly has an A and a B side. Suites and Old Rectory Bedrooms, with their countryside views and charmingly varied house-style furniture and what The Lords is really all about. Costing less, but viewless and more like ordinary hotel rooms, are those in the modern wing. The website, although good, doesn’t really convey this difference. As the balance is only £80 (c. £300 vs. £220) on a two-night Dinner, Bed & B’fast stay I recommend you pay it and of course the c. £5 upgrade to dine a la carte. Keep an eye out too for the hotel’s Special Offer Promotions. The effect can be quite dramatic.