Le Meridien Hotel, Bora Bora by Daniel Scott

When you are holidaying inside what looks like a perfectly set-up French Polynesian postcard you have to dig deep to find something to get antsy about. After all, what meets the eye at Le Meridien Bora Bora certainly fulfills most visions of a tropical paradise.

Located on the thin band of an outer motu (islet) of Bora Bora, the resort looks back across a milky-blue, mirror-clear lagoon towards the main island. A creamy sand beach fronts the hotel, complete with obligatory stands of coconut palms. From here a web of walkways spiders back out across the languid waters of the lagoon, leading to 82 swanky overwater bungalows. The heart of the resort is made up of 17 beach bungalows and a huge Polynesian-style thatched-roofed main building, comprising reception, boutiques and main restaurant, that horseshoe around a man-made interior lagoon. This is both the main hotel swimming pool and is also home to many brightly-coloured tropical fish and to Le Meridien’s excellent turtle sanctuary, where 21 or so of these flap-happy, beaky sea reptiles are growing up, away from the dangers of the sea.

Look up from virtually anywhere at Le Meridien and you will see the peak of Mount Otemanu on Bora Bora’s main island. Rising like an inverted, greening canine-tooth, it is rendered beautiful nonetheless as it plunges up into the deep-blue tropical sky and gathers surely the world’s prettiest cloud formations around it. Sunsets here, in a dozen hues of orange, pink and mauve are guaranteed to make even the grumpiest of old men admit the existence of romance.

Speaking of Romance. Bora Bora is like an aphrodisiac. The intense colours of the landscape; the warm fug of tropical temperatures that hover, year-round, in the high 20s; the torpid ripple of lagoon waters; the delicious caramel-colouring and white smiles of the Tahitian people and the way they shimmy around the place and, you have to admit it, the influence of those sexy French colonists, they all conspire to make a holiday here a profoundly sensual experience.

Unfortunately, French Polynesia in general and a top-end resort like Le Meridien in particular are also shockingly expensive. A fairly straightforward Polynesian buffet dinner at its main Le Tipanie restaurant, for instance, costs over $150 for two, before drinks.

But one good surprise at Le Meridien is that its cheaper beach bungalows are preferable to their flashier over-water cousins. This is partly because the interior lagoon that they give onto is much more colourful and full of fish than that underneath the overwater bungalows and partly because so much about these spacious beach villas is just so. Each is shaded by its own clump of tropical greenery and each has its own white sand front yard. Each also has its own oversize hammock – big enough for two except for following the Polynesian buffet – strung out under a palm tree.

The interior of the bungalow uses light woods to beautiful effect, from the centrepiece super king-sized bed, through an alcove enclosing a divan-type sofa to the latticed wooden shutters throughout. The bathroom is fit for a king and queen, with his and hers basins, large mirrors framed by driftwood, a separate shower room and toilet and a huge tub also encased in wood. Even the peanut selection from the mini-bar comes inside a chintzy glass fronted wooden cabinet hanging on the wall.

When you’ve finished being romantic inside you throw open the big French windows to your own expansive wooden deck and the beach and lagoon and continue being romantic outside.

Perhaps surprisingly, on an island so made for lovers, the Le Meridien Bora Bora is a child-friendly resort. But, happily, the children tend to be of the immaculately behaved and coifed French variety. Otherwise, not much at this hotel, is going to keep you from fulfilling your every romantic fantasy.