Inner Peace and Chocolates by Yvonne Van Dongen

“Shoo” admonished Leonie Weber to the garrulous driver of the 1955 maroon and silver Chevrolet who’d driven me to her home. “Go on. Off you go. Now. And you,” she said pointing to me “You just come inside and rest.”

And she wasn’t being rude. Well, not really rude. She was being caring. To me at any rate, if not the driver, and that’s all that counted now. As co-owner, with her husband Frank, of Adelong Lifestyle Acommodation in Adelaide, Leonie was clearing the way for me to have some of what she called “self space.” I was glad she did it in an old-fashioned “g’arn clear orf” style and not in a new age whisper. I was glad too to spy chocolates sneakily tucked into bowls of nuts, next to bedsides and in the kitchen as well as Chocopops among the healthy cereals plus a bottle of sparkling wine, port and truffles.

“I tried to go the health food way but people said ‘Leonie you’re choosing for us. Let us do that.’ So I just have fun now. We don’t take ourselves seriously here.”

Perhaps she should, I thought as I took in my new surroundings. Maroon feather boas adorned corners and walls, a gossamer maroon cloth covered a central post in the lounge, scarves and bits of lace held in place by dried rosebuds were draped on walls and above the bed and the furniture was vaguely art deco made by a local Vietnam vet “who didn’t come out of it very well.”

But any doubts vanished as soon as I clapped eyes on my very own inground spa pool and sauna next to my bedroom, my shower with double heads (“Ever had a hot shower on your body and cold one on your feet? Fantastic” recommended Leonie), my multi-gym and relaxation room with massage table and my foot spa.

And when Leonie said “Your massage therapist is coming in three hours. Just rest till then”, I knew this was truly a great place. Not a b&b, (“Been there, done that” says Leonie) although ingredients for a gourmet breakfast are provided, not a resort and not a hotel, Adelong is simply three cottages offering five-star peace and privacy with a hearty dose of Aussie pragmatism to boot.

My massage therapist turned out to be a former army captain of 20 years who is now a solo parent to her own child and a foster parent to another, making a living pummelling flesh, face painting (for elderly people, corporate do’s, 50th birthdays) and doing make-up.

By the time I’d seen her I’d slept for a while, showered, lolled in the oxygenated hydrotherapy spa and nearly expired in my own private sauna so I assumed I was totally relaxed. But no, I still had to come down a notch or two. In fact Leonie was disappointed I wasn’t staying longer than one night and by the time I left so was I.

“It really takes two to three days to unwind,” she says. “People come here to recuperate after an illness, for a romantic break or health retreat.”

I was none of the above and it still worked.