Conjugally Kerala: Hotels in Kerala Perfect for a Wedding by Devanshi Mody
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Vivanta by Taj - Malabar, Cochin
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Indeed, the dusky damsel has become the fashionable destination for exotic dream weddings in unusual locations. This was once Goa’s prerogative. But the time has come alas, and ravaged Goa is forsaken (like a wife one has wearied of?) for comely Kerala’s unexplored territories.
May is the month of marriages in this South Indian palm-pampered state. And the evidence I’ve gathered indicates that getting married in Kerala has become such a rage amongst Europeans that I rather suspect people want to get married just so that they can do it in Kerala. For a marriage made in heaven, where better to tie the knot than in “God’s Own Country?”
Getting married “in paradise” might include a bewildering panoply of hitherto unimaginable options, in terms of venues and menus both of ceremonies and cuisines. Restrictions only apply to the choice of bride and groom…
The Oberoi Vrinda Motor Vessel: The three-day, eight-cabined luxury backwater cruiser is the love boat if ever there was one. A big hit with honeymooners, it is also oft hired by the more imaginative for bridal showers and stylish, intimate weddings. The cruiser’s rice boat meanders the waterways in languorous beguilement through ancient Hindu temples or centuries-old churches where one can arrange to be married in ritualistic fashion.
If not a wedding feast then refreshing towels, fresh fruit juices, cakes and tit bits await every time you get back onto the rice boat from an excursion. All very civilised. And the balmy evenings are tres cultives, including a wondrous array of cultural programs arranged for each night of the cruise including Kathakali and Kuchipuddi dance recitals and traditional Keralite music concerts.
The Vrinda probably serves some of the best food amongst Oberoi properties- the 26-year-old manager-chef Robin Batra is a talented and not uncharming young chap, so husbands beware that your beauties don’t abscond with the culinary wonder boy. The gala he puts on for the last night of the cruise is worthy of the best wedding banquet. If honeymooning on the Vrinda rather than hiring it out, you’d be fraternising with those who possess Ferraris, Porsches and a great sense of irony.
Indeed, I found myself debating Vedanta with the illustrious guests until dawn. But I’m sure just-wed couples have better ways of disposing of their nights, however alluring the deck top visions of starry heavens and silver-slippered waves dancing on bewitching backwaters. On the other hand, they associate the moon with chastity? Not in this light. Nothing could more impel seductions than soaking in her sensuous swards of argentine that bathe the deck before dawn. Of course, we can’t have couples getting naughty on the deck. Besides, the somewhat cramped cabins are so much more conducive to a tight squeeze…
Casa Del Fauno (Backwaters): Should you wish to indulge in one of those big Indian weddings with a never-ending concatenation of functions then the ideal place to host a cocktail would be at this lovely boutique property. The gallant gardens which embrace virginal beaches do lend themselves to fantasy and fantastic functions. Indeed, the verdant setting would also make for a lovely outdoor wedding.
The very white villa, formerly owned and designed by an Italian, is a delight of ethno-chic interiors and courtyards adorned with tastefully handpicked antiques and other decorative paraphernalia. If you tire of gazing on the loved one (heaven forbid!) the immense honeymoon suite does offer alternative and very enchanting views of laws lacing endless seas.
Casa Del Fauno (hill country): Some like it hot. Others prefer love in a cold climate. If you partake of the latter category, head straight to Casa Del Fauno’s sister property perched atop a hill. This boutique hotel is of very different style. Indeed, it cannot be said to have much style. But what it does have is isolation, delicious isolation and an unparalleled setting in oceans of lush tea gardens enveloped in swirls of heady cinnamon. And cinnamon, we know, is a potent aphrodisiac…
More delicious still is the cuisine, authentically Keralite and actually much tastier than the fare at the down-to-earth beach sibling. You want to just eat and eat and eat. But save your appetites for other things too, dahlin’…
Philip Kutty’s Farm: This little venue run by a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law pair (not generally the happiest of marriages but works in this case) has proved a roaring success with wedding parties. The couple and guests are conveyed in an embellished rice boat for a traditional wedding ceremony on a private island bedecked like a bride.
The Dutch architecture of the scattered individual cottages creates a sense of depaysement as the French would have it (incidentally, this nifty number is a favourite with the French). The actual wedding ceremony is held outdoors under swooning palms resplendent with local floral arrangements and what-not.
The owners themselves are Syrian Christians (like most Keralite Christians) but very happily host colourful Hindu wedding ceremonies (drums, bells, music, chanting priests et al) for couples who are mostly not Hindu. But if a church wedding is a must then a 200-year-old church, one of Kerala’s oldest churches, broods on the banks from across the island. But Christians and heathens alike are allowed to relish the home-style ethnic wedding feast the ladies of the house prepare with pride. It’s divine.
The Rainforest: jungle love it is in the tropical Rain Forest where weddings are conducted before thundering waterfalls. The eco friendly ethnically styled hotel with contemporary flashes is where Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan spent close to three months shooting Mani Ratnam’s film Ravana.
Every morning the couple woke up to views of the Athirapally waterfalls visible from every room of the hotel. The food, once again, like everywhere in Kerala, is fabulous and for breakfast they do the spiciest avial which will have you feeling hot, hot, hot very early in the day, what with an entire aphrodisiacal spice garden on a plate.
Now if you don’t want libidos running riot right from dawn because you want to go see king cobras and elephants and rain forest squirrels and black monkeys and other wild creatures in the rain forest then best settle for the somewhat blander but no less intriguing tribal cuisine.
Indeed, the hotel’s tribal guide, probably the best wildlife guide I’ve encountered, serves a double role as tribal chef. He can even be prevailed upon to prepare your wedding feast. Very meaty stuff for those with voracious, erm, appetites, for want of a better word…
The Leela Kovalam: This property is an idyll of lavish expanses for both luxury marriage ceremonies and racy receptions. The lighting can be so set up to create a fairy land ambiance. Splendid function spaces stud the surrounding natural beauty, all enclosed within panoramic sea views. The recently refurbished exclusive Club Lounge is undoubtedly the most stunning area of the property with an infinity pool that flows into vistas of brilliant blue beyond.
But the sea’s sensuality in no way precludes the romp of personalised wedding ceremonies the hotel offers including the traditional Indian barat with a spectacularly-arranged fireworks display. Naturally, expect also the indispensable elephants and horses, the hallmarks of never-gone-out-of-fashion royal ceremonies, but here brought you with a tropical twist.
If your marriage lasts as long as the vast stretches of Keralite specialties that make the wedding meal or indeed any meal at the resort it’s a good start whilst the ravishing suites with the naughtiest baths leave nothing to desire.
But desire is desired in the conjugal context, n’est-ce pas? So are the right moves. To avoid check-mate later in life, it might be a good idea to insist on a wedding held on the hotel’s cliff-edge chess-board terrace. What a beauty! The terrace plummets down to a bed of rocks. It is quite conceivable you may arrange to have a wedding ceremony there, should you fancy a marriage on the rocks...