Aviation - the Theory and Practice of Operating Aircraft by Anthony Healy

One of the finest statements of the 20th-century was made by Baroness Von Blixen, the Danish author and philanthropist, who said: “One does not travel by air. One is merely sent, like a parcel.”

In the early days, only wealthy aristocrats, such as the Baroness, could afford to fly. The aeroplanes had propellers and piston engines. They also had legroom, decent food and a proper bar - that is, not on a trolley. These days the legroom is still there in first class, as it is for short people in business class. The cattle in economy are expected to get along as best they can. Similarly the food in first class is quite edible. It’s mostly unpalatable in business class, although it looks nice. The cattle in economy are expected to get along as best they can.

Thus civil aviation mirrors our own society. There are the “haves” whose legs swing freely, the “almost haves,” who are given the appearance of luxury whilst being denied it, and the “have nots,” at the back of the plane. This is then sold to the consumer as “a world of choice.”

A few years ago British Airways undertook an enormous market research exercise to find out what frequent flyers thought about air travel. They questioned 40,000 people on their sleeping habits, the size of their feet, the contents of their refrigerators, and their favourite smells; then they gave these people a blank piece of paper and asked them to write their thoughts on running their own airline.

I particularly liked the respondent who wanted immigration officers on the plane, and the person who suggested that airports be abolished altogether. Mostly, people wanted showers on board and individual computer workstations for every passenger. It was also discovered that if you let people get their own drink, hot chocolate is preferred to champagne.

British Airways found out that it wasn’t ‘cuddly,’ or at least not as ‘cuddly’ as its competitors. Startled by this discovery, they brought in the screened off areas that they now have in first class, described as “almost like an individual cabin”. Of course, they more resemble a series of coffins, and the airline didn’t get any cuddlier.

This collection of data was aimed at enticing more rich people into first class. [It is well known that the cattle in economy don’t provide airlines with decent revenue streams anyway]. In spite of this, the revolutionary side of me looks forward to the day when the unfortunates of economy will rise to storm the citadels of first class, looking to borrow some cloth napkins and a bottle of Pouilly Fuisse.