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“There’s an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman . . .” is a phrase that’s launched a thousand jokes. Much has been written about the Englishman and Irishman, but what’s the truth behind the jocular legend of the Scotsman? One stereotype is the dour, tight-fisted, heart attack waiting to happen who eats deep-fried Mars bars, drinks (lots of) pints of heavy and supports any team playing England. The other common cliché is the kilted bagpiper who eats haggis, neeps and tatties when he’s not munching shortbread, and sips wee drams of whisky. As ever the truth lies nowhere near these extremes.

Glaswegians probably come closest to the downtrodden stereotype, and not without good reason. Glasgow was once a mighty industrial power – the second city of the British Empire – built on tobacco, sugar and shipbuilding. But those days are long gone and the demise of its heavy industry remains the most poignant reminder of the city’s former greatness. Where the banks of the Clyde once teemed with forests of shipbuilding cranes, launching huge vessels into the river every week, only ghosts remain of this once world-beating industry.

Yet despite their economic misfortunes, Glaswegians are the friendliest and most open, spontaneous and witty people you could hope to meet. That doesn’t mean they live their days with permanent grins – in fact many don’t look that friendly – but just meet one to discover the truth. You can ask one Glaswegian a question and receive answers from all directions from people you didn’t even realise were within earshot. A total stranger once paid part of my bus fare when I was struggling with the city’s “no change given” buses armed with only a £2 coin. And all the while Glaswegian humour shines through – so much so that local comedians like Billy Connolly aren’t considered noticeably funnier than people you can meet any night in any pub.

The good news is that Glasgow’s fortunes are once more on the up. Its status as 1990 European City of Culture sparked an urban regeneration which continues to spawn trendy boutiques, bars and restaurants aplenty, and has turned many of the city’s redundant warehouses into expensive loft-style apartments. One can only hope that the born-again Glasgow will retain the unique character of its people, expressed most vibrantly through their wonderfully amusing “patter”.

What most people associate with “Scottishness” – tartan kilts, whisky, bagpipes and tossing the caber – are traditions descended from the Gaelic Highlands. That such traditions should survive at all, let alone be so etched in the psyche, is testimony to the irrepressible resolve and determination of the Highlanders – qualities which still fire the Scots’ pride in their roots and their fierce patriotism.

As chief supporters of the Jacobite claim to the British throne, Highlanders suffered cruel persecution when their cause was violently snubbed out on the battlefield of Culloden. Although more Scottish soldiers fought against Bonnie Prince Charlie than for him at Culloden, some Scots still blame the English for that dreadful day in 1746. And while most Scots now tolerate their southern neighbours, any competition between the two countries (football in particular) is likely to re-ignite the rivalry back to Bannockburn intensities.

Following Culloden, clans were stripped of their power; tartans and even bagpipes were prohibited. Property was seized and those who weren’t forced off their land then were evicted in the Highland Clearances of the 19th century, when tenant farmers were driven out to make way for sheep. Yet Highland culture continues to flourish through the Gaelic language, piping, ceilidhs (informal gatherings with traditional music, dancing and poetry) and a full schedule of Highland games.

Don’t carry the romantic Highland vision too far though. The northern outposts of Orkney and Shetland were swamped by Viking invaders and it’s still the Norse influence which dominates here. Orcadians and Shetlanders aren’t pressing for independence but neither do they consider themselves Scottish. Anyone overdoing the traditional “Tartanalia” would probably get laughed all the way back to the ferry, although the northern islanders are more than happy to help sustain the whisky tradition!

Edinburgh never sullied itself with heavy industry and avoided Glasgow’s roller-coaster fortunes. Not only Scotland’s glorious capital but also a UNESCO World Heritage Site, Edinburgh exudes grace and grandeur of a quality that few who set eyes upon it will ever forget. Dominated by a historic castle sitting proudly atop a dark volcanic rock, the city’s elegant buildings, with their neo-classical inspiration and chequerboard stonework, are interspersed by towering spires, creating a dramatic skyline befitting one of the world’s most beautiful cities.

Though not far from Glasgow, Edinburgh’s population couldn’t be more different. Gone is the open friendliness. Gone is the spontaneous humour and “patter”. Edinburgh people are reserved – occasionally verging on the stuffy. Maybe it’s the influx of English and other incomers, or having to cope with so many tourists, or maybe it’s the growing political classes following the establishment of the new Scottish Parliament. Or maybe Edinburgh people simply haven’t experienced the tough challenges which forced Glaswegians to look on the bright side of every situation and look out for each other as a matter of course.

Edinburgh’s beauty is so intoxicating it’s sometimes difficult for visitors to Scotland to see far beyond the city, save for standard highlights such as Ben Nevis, Loch Ness and the Isle of Skye. That’s unfortunate since so many of Scotland’s true highlights fall outside the main tourist routes. “Undiscovered” Scotland bursts with breathtaking palettes of mountains, lochs and glens, and a jagged coastline splashed with chains of wildly romantic islands – as intensely beautiful and alluring as anywhere on earth.

Stirling Castle is more historic and arguably more majestic than Edinburgh. Loch Maree stirs the soul far more than Loch Ness. Ben Nevis might be Britain’s highest mountain but it’s hardly the most impressive. In-the-know mountain lovers beat a path instead to An Teallach in Wester Ross. Skye is undeniably spectacular, but the island is now connected to the mainland by a bridge. Singing “Speed bonnie boat like a bird on the wing . . . over the sea to Skye” whilst driving across a toll bridge just doesn’t inspire. To experience the pure enchantment of the Hebrides, aficionados sail instead to Harris (where the gentle, lyrical accent of the locals is one of the most attractive in Britain), Islay or for the ultimate island experience – Jura.

Another common misconception is that even if Scottish people aren’t necessarily dour, their food certainly is. After all haggis is just offal isn’t it? Maybe, but top chefs clamour for Highland beef and Scottish lamb is as flavoursome as any. Best of all is west coast seafood: melt in the mouth oysters you can’t stop eating; delicious scallops the size of pork pies; and succulent mussels you can pull off the beach, or even Skye Bridge!

However, not even such delicacies have been able to halt the relentless advance of the curry which is as popular in Scotland as it is throughout the rest of Britain. Suruchi, an Edinburgh curry house which uniquely writes its menu in Scots, describes its signature Nirvana dish as “A beezer o a curry wi flavours ye cannae beat.” With fare like that, who needs deep-fried Mars bars?

Did you know . . . ?

1. The World Flounder Tramping Championship takes place each summer near Kirkcudbright. Barefooted contestants wade through low tide mud catching flounders using only their feet!
2. The esplanade in front of Edinburgh Castle is legally owned by Nova Scotia, dating from a deal concluded by Charles I and never revoked.
3. Edinburgh’s Hogmanay is the biggest New Year street party in the world.
4. JK Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, wrote her first novel Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in an Edinburgh café.
5. The Atholl Highlanders are Britain’s only private army.
6. Johnnie Walker Red Label is the world’s largest selling whisky.
7. Loch Ness is the largest body of freshwater in Britain, containing more water than all the lakes and reservoirs in England and Wales combined.
8. The first recorded sighting of the Loch Ness Monster dates from the 6th century when one of Saint Columba’s monks had a narrow escape from its jaws.
9. At less than two minutes, the flight between Westray and Papa Westray in the Orkney Isles is the world’s shortest scheduled flight.
10. A Model T Ford was driven to the summit of Ben Nevis, Britain’s highest mountain, in 1911.

Scottish haunts frequented by Scots
1. Arran: Ever popular island dubbed “Scotland in miniature”.
2. Islay whisky distilleries: Start with Ardbeg (tel 01496-302 244, www.ardbeg.com), Lagavulin (tel 01496-302 400) and Laphroig (tel 01496-302 418, www.laphroaig.com), but don’t ignore the other four.
3. Border Abbeys (www.historic-scotland.net): Take any from the four, but probably Jedburgh and Melrose first.
4. The Creel Restaurant (Gairloch, Ross-shire IV21 2AH, tel 01445-712 497, www.charlestonhouse.co.uk): Superb, friendly restaurant serving mouth-watering seafood and a rack of lamb to die for.
5. Glen Coe (tel 01855-811 307, www.nts.org.uk): Visually magnificent; historically the stuff of legends.

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