"The most remote of Robinson Crusoe eco-hideaways, a fabulous luxury retreat in deepest, darkest Tasmania."
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"The most remote of Robinson Crusoe eco-hideaways, a fabulous luxury retreat in deepest, darkest Tasmania."
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"The doyenne of Melbourne hotels, this grand dame is a lavish fusion of colonial and oriental artworks, and elegant antiques."
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"An eco-retreat, apparently built entirely of light, on a stretch of coastal Australia that feels like the edge of the world."
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There are no wake up calls at the Ross River ranch in the heart of the great Australian outback. The wild red parrots and silver crested cockatoos take care of that. At the first blush of a desert dawn, they assemble in their hundreds, high in the gum trees around the homestead, like a swarm of brilliantly coloured, incredibly boisterous butterflies.
By that time, though, most of the homestead's dozen or so guests are already up and about. Some are heading for another immense outback-style breakfast, but some, like me, are up in the high craggy hills, helping one of the ranch hands round up the camels. Yes, the camels.
Thus begins another day at Ross River Homestead in the vast Northern Territory. Originally a working cattle ranch carved out of the ruggedly beautiful MacDonnell Ranges in 1898, the sprawling 7,300-hectare range east of Alice Springs now operates as a rustic escape valve for world-weary city folk seeking the authentic raw-boned flavour of Outback Australia - a kind of southern hemisphere Marlboro Country.
Managed by Geoff Adler, an amiable ex-army operations officer, and his wife Margaret, the homestead has hosted scores of international travellers, many of them used to far more lavish accommodation.
The homestead's 30 air-conditioned timber cottages are roomy, clean and comfortable enough, although there are no television sets or telephones inside, but guests don't come to Ross River for any of those. They come to experience life in the outback, where the days are long and lazy, and the nights are soft, with the southern skies ablaze with stars. Some city folk tend to take a while to adjust, but most begin to learn the art of loafing soon enough.
Except for horse riding, which is usually best at sunset or under bright moonlight, the homestead has no fixed routine for guests. Sun dappled mornings are set aside for demonstrations of making traditional bush tea and dampers, a kind of bread baked over an open wood fire.
After that there is a lesson on the art of boomerang-throwing. Tossing one is easy enough; doing so without beheading bystanders, however, is not. That's why at this time the ranch's free range donkey, which has seen it all before, shuffles off out of harm's way. The other pets at Ross River - a kangaroo adopted after its mother was killed by a car, and two sheepdogs - have also learned to keep a low profile when the missiles are flying.
By midway, almost everyone at Ross River, guests and staff alike, has ambled over to the dining room in the main ranch house for a leisurely lunch of charcoal-cooked hamburgers or broiled barramundi, a delicious native fish akin to a garoupa. After that, guests generally hit the pool or the outdoor Jacuzzi.
For the energetic, there are guided treks into the surrounding wilderness where hawks and eagles wheel high overhead and dingoes roam the bush in search of goannas (large native lizards) and rock wallabies. With luck, you may spot a mob of kangaroos or even a herd of wild camels. There are also age-old Aboriginal rock paintings to be seen.
Interested guests can help the ranch hands round up stray cattle or even brand a new camel (using a new type of painless dry ice). Aside from the ranch's 40 horses, Ross River also has a herd of camels for treks into the bush for a few hours or even for overnight adventures.
Dinners are either outdoor barbecues by the pool, or huge charcoal cooked steaks in the ranch house, followed by sundowners in the ranch bar. Said to be one of the oldest pubs in northern Australia, the Ross River is a favourite haunt for local characters who come to impress the city slickers with tall tales of the old days. They seem to enjoy meeting visitors from faraway places as much as the guests relish meeting them.
After a long day of trekking, riding, camel safaris, or just sun bathing beneath clear skies, most guests are surprisingly eager to turn in early, to dream of another perfect day in the outback.