"A luxury retrest and desert camp all in one; this is remote, rustic chic at its very finest."
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"A chic and comfortable boutique hotel with private, homey feel and a soothing neutral palette in trendy South Yarra."
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"This century-old Italian mansion in South Yarra now houses an intimate, 20-roomed boutique suite hotel with a relaxed vibe."
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"A trendy boutique hotel right on Bondi Beach - Ravesi's has surfer chic by the bucket and a loyal, beautiful clientele base to prove it."
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"Enjoy fine sunsets and lazy days on the beach at this isolated luxury resort in Queensland's Port Douglas."
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Black kites wheeled ominously above clouds of smoke. Red-hot tongues licked the side of the road and the bush crackled as flames tore through the tinder-dry grass.
The bush was on fire and nobody cared. Except me that is who was all for ringing for help. But no other vehicle gave it a second glance as they sped past, revelling in the no-speed limit permissiveness of the Northern Territory. My Australian friends just laughed.
This was normal. This was okay. This was the Northern Territory way. The fires were just part of the fire management programme, lit to prevent bigger fires later and to aid the regeneration of the bush.
Once you understand that, the sheer insane joy of burning through flaming roadsides at speeds which would earn you a ticket elsewhere, is the bomb.
Fortunately there are plenty of reasons to slow down when you’re driving the Nature’s Way trail, a 1000km loop from Darwin to and from Kakadu National Park. Our group of six have already glided down the Katherine River on canoes, cruised between tropical- sunrise-coloured cliffs of Katherine Gorge at Nitmiluk National Park and swum at Edith Falls.
Despite not seeing another living soul, we’ve clocked numerous birds, fish, crocs and kangaroos. At each place I’ve made a mental note to return.
But the best travel always involves lots of wishing for more and still there’s more to be seen. So off we drive to the Gunlom Falls campground.
Our campervan is among friends here. It’s a popular vehicle with SADs, the See Australia before you Die retirees. They and younger souls on a safari tour seem to be the only people on the road.
Gunlom caters for both having a gorgeous plunge pool and waterfall at ground level as well as a tiered landscape of infinity edged natural pools which can be reached only after a shortish strenuous trek.
It’s safe to swim here since crocs haven’t yet made it to the top and they’ve been removed from the bottom pools. Same as Edith falls but definitely not the case everywhere. Scary signs make the dangers perfectly clear.
Maguk the next day also has a plunge pool and waterfall but this time they’re wrapped in the damp warmth of monsoon rainforest. Here we see a water monitor, now extinct in Queensland thanks to the cane toad. Then we spy the Evil Perpetrator himself. A big, clammy, ugly toad so toxic he’s wiped out numerous snakes, crocs and even more native mammals.
If we were anywhere near Darwin we’d hand him in alive to the RSPCA and get a pot of beer in return. But since we’re not we make sure he’ll never eat another living thing and that’s all you need to know.
From here it’s a short drive to the well-laid out Warradjan Aboriginal Cultural Centre in Cooinda and then off to the Murdurjurl Art centre with Mandy Muir. Mandy is the great grand-daughter of Lofty Nadjamerrek, a famous aboriginal artist revered by my Australian buddies.
Most of Kakadu is aboriginal-owned and leased back to the government as a National Park. Until recently park fees used to provide the community with an income but after the government summarily scrapped all fees, locals have begun to develop tourist ventures to generate income. Most campgrounds offer free tours by rangers as well as other fee-paying adventures run by indigenous people.
Mandy’s tour features family art, food caught on her property (we ate part of a waterlily plus fresh barramundi cooked in paperbark) and teaching crafts.
Afloat again but this time on a billabong so lovely it is almost a dreamscape. Thousands of birds are sprinkled amongst the white waterlily-topped water on the Yellow Water cruise at Cooinda. In the distance I spy a red-legged jabiru (looks like a huge stork) and even see chocolate-coloured wild horses. Perfect were it not for the mosquitoes.
Muirella Park campground is dark when we arrive and we’re up early for another walk to the Gubara pools and lunch further on under rock-art-covered cliffs high above the countryside. Aboriginals believe they are the work of mimi or spirits who also taught them to paint.
Kakadu has thousands of discovered rock art sites and still thousands more undiscovered. Though individual images are hard to date, it’s possible many go back 10 or 20,000 years.
It’s a great moment. Just us, lunch, our own private gallery and panoramic views of the park.
Trouble is we almost feel like we’re slumming it later when we join the hoi polloi at Nourlangie and Ubirr, two of Kakadu’s best known and easily accessible collection of rock art.
The Bowali Visitor centre is another artful construction and good background for our next adventure, a visit to Hawk Dreaming. Few outsiders have seen the rock art here since it’s new on the tourist trail and requires a climb many elderly visitors can’t manage. But the reward is one of the best sites in the park. Make mental note to return when planned safari camp is up and running.
Our last night is an unaccustomed treat. Crisp sheets and our own bathrooms at the Gagudju Crocodile Holiday Inn in Jabiru, shaped like a crocodile when seen from above, a design which seems pointless until we’re on a scenic flight.
Apart from putting the landscape in geological perspective the flight also reveals sights we were unable to access thanks to a longer-than-usual rain streak. The rightly famous Jim Jim and Twin falls waterfalls, deep ravines, hidden pockets of rainforest plus the big pale-blue earthworks of the uranium mine which sustains the township.
At last the end of our adventure is nigh. We’re all sad but secretly I’m actually looking forward to the final drive through earth, wind and fire back to Darwin.