Review of The Eugenia, by JB Cooper

It could be said The Eugenia in Bangkok does ‘colonial’ in the best possible sense. Situated in the heart of heady Sukhumvit, everything in this wholly beautiful tiny boutique mansion speaks of colonial rule, from the stuffed wall hangings to the burnished brass lamps. The only issue? Well, Thailand has never been colonised, has it now?

To hold that against The Eugenia would be nitpicking. It would also miss the point entirely. Unlike other colonial hotels (Raffles in Singapore; the Taj Lake Palace in Udaipur), The Eugenia doesn’t actively yearn for the lifestyle of yore. Rather, it simply wishes to bask in the style of yore (pith helmets for pith helmets’ sake, you might say). And bask it does.

You enter The Eugenia via a small driveway that holds a fleet of antique cars (Jaguar MK VII included). Past the front doors lies an unexpected display of racing-green tortoise shells. To the left of the shells there’s a zebra skin; to the right there’s a library-cum-lounge that promises wrought iron four-poster beds turned into pillowed armchairs, cabinets of tea sets, and a display of purchasable hand rolled cigars. You sit down (possibly beneath a plumed peacock), smile a little, and ready yourself for an interesting stay.

Upstairs, The Eugenia’s twelve bespoke suites are Victorian wonders, all unimpeachable whites and dignified teaks. Their marvellous antique beds would be obvious centerpieces, if it weren’t for the sheer size and airiness of each room; all incorporate a table, a wardrobe, and a dresser, without feeling the least bit cluttered. On the walls, anachronistic prints of architectural designs, Siamese scripts, and maps of colonial-era Asia complete the feel.

Elsewhere in the hotel, anthropological, historical, and technological antiques garnish just about every surface. There’s a display of insects in the stairwell and a crocodile skin in the hallway. In the well-equipped conference room there’s a convex mirror straight out of a Renaissance painting, while the fit-for-royalty private dining room showcases a pair of ostrich legs in the same vicinity as a McIntosh 275 amplifier.

These antiques have been sourced from around the world: the hotel’s owner collected them during his career as an interior designer for Asia’s elite. That same elite now frequent his hotel, with its famed Zheng He restaurant particularly popular among Bangkok’s high society.

Among staying guests, the Zheng He complimentary breakfast is as legendary as its lavish mains. The breakfast – Asian or Continental – is basically a three-course meal in itself. Decide to take it outside, in the ornate Thai sala that borders the hotel’s slim emerald green pool, and you get to experience The Eugenia at its very finest. Style for style’s sake it may be, but it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that even colony-dwellers didn’t have things this good.